Don’t touch my junk
John Tyner has become the latest folk hero telling a TSA agent, “if you touch my junk I will have you arrested.” He made his own tedious video and sabotaged his own flight — paid for one can not help but add by his father-in-law. Tyner, it seems was in a sweat about the naked scanner because of possible radiation danger and he was also real sure he didn’t want anyone touching his genitals. And in his own quiet, no doubt premeditated way, Tyner has inspired a call for revolt against the TSA’s enhanced search techniques.
Blessedly it didn’t happen. As it turns out, most people who buy an airplane ticket really want to get where they’re going so they play ball with the TSA.
I have a hard time getting too worked up about the naked scanner. It’s not like it goes straight to my Facebook page. It’s not like anyone is really that interested in looking at all my junk and frankly I suspect this bothers people the more junk they got.
I also have a hard time getting too worked up about security. We just got back from a jaunt to the UAE — one of the most liberal countries in the Middle East and my junk was certainly touched quite a bit by forbidding, black gowned women. This being a few weeks after a bomb left Dubai disguised as a printer cartridge security was very very tight.
However, in general, security was also efficient and reasonably low key, and friendly.
So far, in all my travels all over the world, the TSA is distinguished for its idiocy. Every airport seems to have its pompous self-important buffoon who will repeatedly yell the instructions of the day at people who more than likely have heard it many times before and can probably figure it out for themselves.
Every frequent traveler has a favorite story about an encounter with the TSA. My personal favorite comes from the Oakland airport where a TSA agent held up the line berating a young woman for the size of her shampoo tube. Being from Oakland and all, she gave as good as she got — and so at least it was entertaining.
No wonder all this rage has bubbled up against the TSA, and it feels like the kind too long bottled up.
Granted, all this protest smells like a replay of Joe the Plumber. Tyner video tapes himself, he’s got his snappy line all prepared, and he posts a blog. Then, right on cue and on time for Thanksgiving comes the groundswell of outrage. “Don’t touch my junk” has become the battle cry of protesters demanding that people opt out of the naked scanner and also refuse the “enhanced” pat down.
Oh please. Along with sane people everywhere, I’m delighted nothing came of the rude, insensitive plan to destroy the holiday for thousands of people for yet another demonstration against “the guvment.”
On the other hand, it’s a swell time to look at the TSA from top to bottom and see if the procedures can’t be made more efficient — and the personnel more pleasant. Just because a protest has been started by a bunch of publicity seeking goofballs who hope to disrupt travel without themselves buying a plane ticket, doesn’t mean they don’t have a point.
